wen i try to format my new memory card it says it cant be formated

What method are you using to try and format it?

i conect the card to my mp3 look at my computer right click storage card and click format

I'd try it using a card reader directly. If you can't do that you can get a program like Resco that has an option to format it in the phone.

will that work even if the phone wont read it anymore

Probably not. I'd use a card reader first. If that still doesn't work it's probably a faulty card.